Pi was never really "there" for me sort-to speak. Well, kinda hard to when we live about an hour and a half away from each other. Yeah, long distance stuff sucks. I totally recommend not doing it. That was the primary rift in our "relationship" that and he was in college, I didn't have my license and all that other shit we won't talk about.
I don't know, maybe it is my weakness coming back to me? Weakness = dorks, nerds, smart guys. Hee hee!!
So after talking with Pi, I began to get that feeling just like last time (3 years ago) I felt totally confused by his feelings. WTF? This is how you win over women? Nice. Jackass.
After much consideration, I did decide to be friends with him, even though I never really stay friends with exes, just doesn't work that way with me. But no, he wants so much to be friends. The reason, probably just so he can try to get in my pants? Well, George thinks so and so does Dad and a couple people I asked about it. Or maybe he does reallu want to be friends?
So right now, I am deciding over whether or not he is serious on just being friends. I hope that if he is that he understands that that is all it will ever be.
I still don't think this will work out, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt (if he will talk to me!!)
Last time we talked I was really smashed on vodka and pucker shooters. I think I may have offended him by giving him TMI. Which totally surprises me since he is one of the biggest perverts I know!!
Maybe I fucked things up? I always do T_T
For as long as I can remember, not sure when this tradition started, Dad always made a trip up to Grandma's in Wisconsin almost every February (or a month around it, but it was still Winter time) just to spend time with Grandma, go to the Dells and possibly bring a cow, pig or both home.
For the last 2 years, I've been trying to convince George to go with me. I haven't been up to my Grandma's in quite some time. I think the last time I was there was back in 2005? Summer vacation? I don't really remember. But it has been a while and I would love to go and bring George with me.
Each time I have asked he always says no. He claims he just doesn't like traveling, but he has gone to visit his friends in Florida and his mom's family in Virginia. I highly doubt it's a dislike to travel. I know George doesn't really like my family (immediate family included) I can't really blame him. There some family members and relatives I don't really like either.
It stems from when Uncle Earl & Aunt Diane visited a while back ago when I just started dating George. Earl was quite the ass when he talked to me about the men I date. Telling me crap like "Look at yourself, you're a beautiful intelligent woman. You can get any guy you want. Like a doctor, a lawyer. But a cobbler?" Like my own personal happiness means nothing? Dick.
So after that incident with my relatives, George isn't too thrilled to meet any of them. He has met my Grandmother and my Dad's sister Nancy, but that's about it.
I guess he just doesn't like my family and I have to learn to deal with it.
I still think he would have fun if he went. Stop in Chicago on the way there, have lunch, see some relatives possibly and go to Grandma's.
I dunno. I guess I feel a bit awkward having the boyfriend who doesn't like or want anything to do with my family. My sisters' boyfriends' are always pretty much with my sisters at holiday events and such, but mine is always absent. I get tired of having to explain him to my parents. It gets old after a while. I have asked him to come to family events, but I always get the same excuses.
He just isn't that kind of person I guess. Which doesn't work well with me. I like to spend time with my family during the holidays and visit family when I can. I just wish he would like to too.
I've told him many times, it's not just about visiting my family but also about spending time with me. Then he goes off into a little tangent on how we live together and are always spending time together. To me that's not the same thing.
Yeah we live together, but half the time he is doing something else or has his friends over or is out with his friends. Just going to sleep together and waking up together isn't "being together" or "spending time". To him it is.
I guess I miss how things were in the beginning of our relationship. We spent more time together and he actually enjoyed spending time with me and finding things to do. I miss that.... a lot.
Now, it seems like whenever I want to do something or go somewhere (like to visit my Grandmother) he just doesn't want to. He is content to stay glued to the tv and play his stupid video games or go out to Grand Rapids and play his stupid paper RPG game with his friends.
Just pisses me off.
I told him to at least think about Wisconsin. I highly doubt he will, but it's worth a shot.
Even if he doesn't go, I'll go by myself.
I think I need some time to myself and time to think about my relationship.
My adolescent years were anything but normal. I had to see my therapist and psychologist every week to discuss life at home, school, and how I was with my medications. That and how I felt (note : most of my visits had nothing to do with how I felt, they were suppose to but apparently my therapist believed my mother over me)
I resented my parents (mostly mom) a lot during those years of hell. I always felt like they were ashamed of me and thought I was the messed up child. My siblings weren't really supportive or understanding either. I was the "freak" the "crazy" sibling. I was told to go kill myself by them constantly if they were annoyed with me, which hurt a lot.
My family hated me, is what I thought. My friends didn't seem to understand what I was going through either. How could they? All I did was leave them out.
I did it to keep them away from the dark side of me.
A side I am very ashamed of. But I do not regret any of the choices I made.
As self medication (no I did not feel like my meds were helping me, to me they were just placebos) I would go out drinking with friends. We all got fake ids from a friends' brother. I use to sneak out of my parents house late at night to go to clubs and bars. I just wanted to get away from my life. Alcohol was my med of choice. It made me feel numb and happy. I didn't have a care in the world. And I didn't care what I was doing to myself either.
I had several failed suicide attempts. Either I was too chicken-shit to do it or I did but mom and dad stopped me from going the whole way. That is one thing I have learned from seeing my parents reactions : a suicidal child just rips them up.
My parents didn't know what they were doing wrong. They had sent me to see shrinks, got me on meds, even had me go to out patient therapy. Nothing seemed to be working, for them. But what about me?
At times I wouldn't take my medication. I was just so sick of feeling sick. The Lithium was getting so bad to the point where everything I ate tasted like metal. I sometimes didn't eat which resulted in dramatic weight loss. I didn't feel like myself, but I wanted to.
When I started to take myself off the medication (with help from Dr. Elody of course), I felt better. Within a few days I began to notice that I had more energy and I could eat again.
The happiest moment of it all was when I fired my therapist. I felt like I could take on the world that day. And ever since, I have been off the medication.
I still have shifting moods and bouts of depression, but I have a better grasp on it. I have learned to utilize self control and begin to take hold of my feelings and how I react to them.
Having George with me also makes it easier. He is so understanding and patient with it. He really is a trooper. I don't know how many times he has seen me shift from happy to sad or just enraged, but it has been a lot. It surprises me that he is still with me. I figured he would have had enough by now. But it's been three years and he is still here, so it must mean something.
I also realized that what my parents did for me, any parent would have done. They just didn't know what to do. They did all they could for me and tried their best. That was a true sign of their love for me.
I am just so grateful for having such a supportive family and boyfriend. Without them, who knows where I'd be.
A Wal-Mart worker died early Friday after an "out-of-control" mob of frenzied shoppers smashed through the Long Island store's front doors and trampled him, police said.
The Black Friday stampede plunged the Valley Stream outlet into chaos, knocking several employees to the ground and sending others scurrying atop vending machines to avoid the horde.
When the madness ended, 34-year-old Jdimytai Damour was dead and four shoppers, including a woman eight months pregnant, were injured.
"He was bum-rushed by 200 people," said Wal-Mart worker Jimmy Overby, 43.
"They took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me.
"They took me down, too ... I didn't know if I was going to live through it. I literally had to fight people off my back," Overby said.
Damour, a temporary maintenance worker from Jamaica, Queens, was gasping for air as shoppers continued to surge into the store after its 5 a.m. opening, witnesses said.
Even officers who arrived to perform CPR on the trampled worker were stepped on by wild-eyed shoppers streaming inside, a cop at the scene said.
"They pushed him down and walked all over him," Damour's sobbing sister, Danielle, 41, said. "How could these people do that?
"He was such a young man with a good heart, full of life. He didn't deserve that."
Damour's sister said doctors told the family he died of a heart attack.
His cousin, Ernst Damour, called the circumstances "completely unacceptable."
"His body was a stepping bag with so much disregard for human life," Ernst Damour, 37, said. "There has to be some accountability."
Roughly 2,000 people gathered outside the Wal-Mart's doors in the predawn darkness.
Chanting "push the doors in," the crowd pressed against the glass as the clock ticked down to the 5 a.m. opening.
Sensing catastrophe, nervous employees formed a human chain inside the entrance to slow down the mass of shoppers.
It didn't work.
The mob barreled in and overwhelmed workers.
"They were jumping over the barricades and breaking down the door," said Pat Alexander, 53, of Crown Heights, Brooklyn. "Everyone was screaming. You just had to keep walking on your toes to keep from falling over."
After the throng toppled Damour, his fellow employees had to fight through the crowd to help him, police said.
Witness Kimberly Cribbs said shoppers acted like "savages."
"When they were saying they had to leave, that an employee got killed, people were yelling, 'I've been on line since Friday morning!'" Cribbs said. "They kept shopping."
When paramedics arrived, Damour's condition was grave.
"They were pumping his chest, trying to bring him back, and there was nothing," said Dennis Smokes, 36, a Wal-Mart worker.
Damour was taken to Franklin Hospital and pronounced dead at 6:03 a.m.
Hank Mullany, president of Wal-Mart's northeast division, said the company took extraordinary safety precautions.
"We expected a large crowd this morning and added additional internal security, additional third-party security, additional store associates and we worked closely with the Nassau County police," he said in a statement.
"We also erected barricades. Despite all of our precautions, this unfortunate event occurred."
The 28-year-old pregnant woman and three other shoppers were taken to area hospitals with minor injuries, police said.
In a news conference after the incident, Nassau County police spokesman Lt. Michael Fleming described the crowd as "out of control" and the scene as "utter chaos." He said Wal-Mart did not have enough security onhand.
Fleming said criminal charges were possible but that it would be difficult to identify individual shoppers in surveillance videos.
Items on sale at the Wal-Mart store included a $798 Samsung 50-inch Plasma HDTV, a Bissel Compact Upright Vacuum for $28 and Men's Wrangler Tough Jeans for $8.
The Long Island store reopened at 1 p.m. and was packed within minutes.
"I look at these people's faces and I keep thinking one of them could have stepped on him," said one employee. "How could you take a man's life to save $20 on a TV?"
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Just sick!! I CAN NOT believe just how selfish and greedy people are.
To be that careless to harm another person over a stupid material posession?
This is one of the many reasons why I do not shop on Black Friday. This is also why I BOYCOTT Black Friday.
When are they going to learn?
Wal-Mart should have been more prepared for this is if the crowd was that out of control. To just rely on the employees isn't enough. They don't need to be fearing for their lives while at work. They should have had police assistance before they even opened.
Just sickens me.
I hope they are happy with what they have done. Telling the employees' family their death was caused by a heartache? Sad, you have to found out the REAL reason by watching the news. I see a nice lawsuit in your future, Wal-Mart.
What they should have done is hand out tickets like Best Buy does for those special items. That way there is no fighting over getting to it first.
What makes it worse was that people didn't care that the man died. They still wanted to shop!! Who is to say his life is less important over the crap you want to buy?
Human life is priceless, and not too many people realize that.
After finding this article, I found another one about 2 men who shot each other to death at a Palm Desert,CA Toys R Us, over a toy!!
WTF?? Is it really worth killing, beating, hurting another for that discount? Really? Who is the winner here? NO ONE!!
I hope they do figure out who trampled that poor man. He did not deserve to be treated so badly by those careless animals.
As for Wal-Mart, I hope they go down in flames.